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Share a Slice of Pizza… It Helps the Medicine Go Down

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Starting Over, AGAIN. You know the feeling.  

You roll out of bed after a restless night of tossing and turning, and stumble into your bathroom.  As you stare at the person in the mirror, the only question you really have the courage to ask is, “Really? Again?”.  The more frightening questions like, “Can I really make this happen this time?”, or “Do I need to find some help?” are usually questions that cause our eyes to dart away from our own gaze, let alone ask them aloud from ourselves, or heaven forbid from someone else.

But we start over, again, anyway.

This type of new beginning can be terrifying. It holds an incredible amount of potential, but those who have been down this road know that this potential has both a bright & a dark side.  On the one hand, we have an opportunity to start fresh, and make something new, better and more amazing than we’ve ever known.  On the other hand, we see the potential for this to be one more attempt to “start over”, but wonder if it will really be a temporary exercise in futility, only to find ourselves in a time loop that brings us right back to this same place in the near future.  That kind of fear and uncertainty can be emotionally overwhelming at times.  In the face of so much anxiety, stress or fear, let me offer this bit of encouragement.

Go share a slice of pizza with someone.

Here’s the deal.  You can whine or bemoan you situation. You can wallow in it. You can give up. Or when you have a chance, and life seems to give you a chance to get up and take a breath, or eat a bite of pizza, then do it.  While your at it, look for someone else who could use a slice as well and offer it to them, or give it to them when they ask.

Everyone you meet, whether friend, coworker or stranger is facing their own pile of worries, fears and challenges in their private world each day. Please people, understand that, and begin to let that affect how you treat them. Yes, you are struggling.  Starting over, again, is hard. But so is their life. Maybe the day, or even your life would go a little better if you stopped to help someone else along the way.

Kindness is a Karma boomerang. The more you throw it, the more it comes back to you. Kind words are just as easy as mean words, so use them instead. Kind gestures are rare, so today, go be THAT guy or THAT girl. Here’s an experiment you need to try.  Look in the mirror, and look into your own eyes for 60 seconds.  Look hard enough so you can catch just a glimpse of your soul.  Now today, go do five kind things for people who don’t really have any way to immediately repay you for your kindness. When the evening comes, repeat the mirror exercise.  I think you’ll be surprised at what you see.

Compassion is a universal language, and everyone understands it. Your coworker who hates you understands it. Your kids who are angry with you will understand it (eventually). The stranger on the street corner will be surprised by it, but he will understand it, and he will be changed by it. You will be changed by it too.

Sometimes change is painful. It’s kinda like surgery. But not surgery on yourself. That’s stupid. Let’s talk about that tomorrow.

Step Off Fool…

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Starting Over. Again.

Boss dismisses employee. Isolated

It can wear a person down, from the inside out. The frustration of failure, facing the same giants for the umpteenth time, from flat on your proverbial back.  The weight you lost has come back. The bank account is overdrawn, again. The week has ended with a poor job review, the weekend has finished with a marital blow up and you’re finally at your wit’s end.  You’re not willing to give up or give in, but starting over, again, can be so depressing. 

Listen closely.  The things I will share are not a fool proof, step by step approach to sure success.  If that’s what you’re looking for, stop reading now, and go find it somewhere else.  Just know that if that’s what anyone promises, they are either a fool, or they are dishonest.  There is no such thing as a guarantee or a ma
gical potion to fix everything once and for all. This life is a journey. It’s a journey that’s filled with challenges, obstacles and stresses.  But you can do this.  Seriously, you can.  When you fail, you can start over, again… and again, and again if you have to. 

Will it be hard? Yes. The person that will make it most difficult to start again is most likely the one who stares at you in the mirror. Can I offer a small piece of advice? Step off, fool. You heard me.  Stop being so hard on yourself. You aren’t the only person in the world to fail or fall short. You aren’t the first person to need to start over from scratch, and you won’t be the last. The last thing you need now is a “self-inflicted beat down” for the circumstance you find yourself in. So lighten up on yourself a little. This takes a mixture of grace and courage, but you can do this.  You’ve got this.

There is something to be said for not letting yourself off too easy. There may be legitimate fault to be laid at your feet for your current situation. Don’t make excuses or point the finger too quickly at others if there are things you genuinely need to change. Seriously, dude (or dudette), if you keep doing the same stupid stuff and it keeps causing your world to crash down around you, then stop doing stupid stuff. Do you regularly have to search for new employment because you blame others for your poor work? Then start taking responsibility for what’s yours at the office, and bust your butt to make it better.  Has your spouse blown a cog, complaining that you NEVER carry your share of the load around the house? Then sit down with your spouse, and work out a fair and purposeful way for you to share the duties that make your house a home… and then follow through faithfully on your part, no excuses allowed!

Listen, excuses are like backsides… everyone has one. Sometimes they stink, sometimes they don’t, but no one likes them rubbed in their face. Analogy understood?  Stop making excuses, and yet you can’t let yourself off without any culpability for being in the place where you need to start over again. It’s not worth beating yourself up over, but you insure that you’ll be right back in this place if you don’t take responsibility and make the necessary changes to get you out of this bad place.

So what’s your next step? Maybe it’s time to clean your “Life House”.  Let’s talk about it tomorrow.