Selfish is the New Yes

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Which Voice Will You Listen ToFor your entire life there have been critics, bosses and managers you have answered to. “I don’t think you can fix this”, “Don’t even think about it”, & “Here’s another project that even you can’t screw up,” may have been among the verbal barbs thrown your way.

Bad leaders use language and tactics to manage by fear and control. They may not even be aware that their style is based in a deep rooted insecurity or fear of incompetence on their own part. No matter the reason or reasons, there’s no place for “leadership by intimidation” in a healthy workplace.
If you’re one of those kinds of leaders, would you do the rest of us a favor? Stop it.  

We’ll even offer you several choices on how you can stop it.

  1. Shut up.  Harsh? Yes.  But you’re insecurities being vomited out on those you lead isn’t helping.  Zip it.
  2. Grow up.  The pettiness and grade school antics in the business world are mind blowing.  Leave it in your childhood.
  3. Go away.  Give people some space.  Hateful helicopters don’t increase productivity.  Step away now.
  4. Get some help.  Seriously, talk to someone who loves you but isn’t impressed by you.  Ask for honest evaluation of you.
  5. Get a grip. Take a breath.  Life is too short for “lid flipping” over little stuff.  Geesh.

No one has a right to crush your spirit or crush your dreams.  It doesn’t matter if they manage your team or manage a Fortune 500 company you work for.  Stop for a few seconds.  Compare the importance or value of the negative firestorms of a bad boss to these things:

  • Eternity
  • The love of your family
  • The amazing possibilities of life in front of you
  • The taste of great BBQ
  • A beautiful spring evening at  the ballpark with friends
  • Special life moments with your children
  • A quiet moment enjoying your faith and spirituality

Has anything that your horrible leader has said matched up in importance or quality to anything on this list?  No?  I didn’t think so.  Does that mean those times will never happen again, or that you’ll never be on the receiving end of someone else’s emotional impotence?  Nope.  It just means now you know what voices matter.

What will you do the next time you find yourself on the end of a “bad emotional beating”?  

How will you keep the perspective that you know is real?

One thought on “Selfish is the New Yes

    Buford said:
    March 11, 2015 at 8:36 am

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