Month: May 2014

Selfish is the New Yes

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Which Voice Will You Listen ToFor your entire life there have been critics, bosses and managers you have answered to. “I don’t think you can fix this”, “Don’t even think about it”, & “Here’s another project that even you can’t screw up,” may have been among the verbal barbs thrown your way.

Bad leaders use language and tactics to manage by fear and control. They may not even be aware that their style is based in a deep rooted insecurity or fear of incompetence on their own part. No matter the reason or reasons, there’s no place for “leadership by intimidation” in a healthy workplace.
If you’re one of those kinds of leaders, would you do the rest of us a favor? Stop it.  

We’ll even offer you several choices on how you can stop it.

  1. Shut up.  Harsh? Yes.  But you’re insecurities being vomited out on those you lead isn’t helping.  Zip it.
  2. Grow up.  The pettiness and grade school antics in the business world are mind blowing.  Leave it in your childhood.
  3. Go away.  Give people some space.  Hateful helicopters don’t increase productivity.  Step away now.
  4. Get some help.  Seriously, talk to someone who loves you but isn’t impressed by you.  Ask for honest evaluation of you.
  5. Get a grip. Take a breath.  Life is too short for “lid flipping” over little stuff.  Geesh.

No one has a right to crush your spirit or crush your dreams.  It doesn’t matter if they manage your team or manage a Fortune 500 company you work for.  Stop for a few seconds.  Compare the importance or value of the negative firestorms of a bad boss to these things:

  • Eternity
  • The love of your family
  • The amazing possibilities of life in front of you
  • The taste of great BBQ
  • A beautiful spring evening at  the ballpark with friends
  • Special life moments with your children
  • A quiet moment enjoying your faith and spirituality

Has anything that your horrible leader has said matched up in importance or quality to anything on this list?  No?  I didn’t think so.  Does that mean those times will never happen again, or that you’ll never be on the receiving end of someone else’s emotional impotence?  Nope.  It just means now you know what voices matter.

What will you do the next time you find yourself on the end of a “bad emotional beating”?  

How will you keep the perspective that you know is real?

This Moment Changes Everything

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The Time That is Given UsTime… currency of the universe.  It spends day in and day out, without our consent. Although we can choose how and where it is spent, we cannot stop or even slow the flow of it from our life’s account.  Not only does it drain away, day by day, but we had no control where we would be placed in the time line of space & eternity.  We had no choice to be placed in Ancient Egypt, in England during the Middle Ages, or the great western frontier in America.  We’re here… now.  

World politics seem out of control, and economies pitch and roll with nauseating uncertainty.  Technology seems to advance at a breakneck speed, while cultural institutions like marriage, family and religion are morphing and changing daily.  Corporate downsizing and relocation cause families to be uprooted and moved across the country.  Immigration challenges, banking woes and governmental involvement in our daily lives can push us to the edge of sanity.

Life may not seem fair.  It’s probably not fair.  OK, Life isn’t fair.  While we’re at it, sometimes Life isn’t fun, interesting, fulfilling or easy.  So what do we do? What can we do?

    1. Refuse to Be a Victim.  It’s fair to acknowledge how circumstances affect us.  It’s a coward’s way out to blame society or forces outside ourselves for how we respond to those circumstances.  You are not in charge of the world, but you ultimately are in charge of your heart and your mind.  History is filled with people like Helen Keller, Franklin Roosevelt, Richard Branson & Bill Gates, people who at one time were beaten down and at the bottom, but chose to rise above their circumstances and win.  You are that person.  Be that person.   
    2. Demand of Yourself Time Daily to Recalculate.  Success requires focus, and focus demands quiet, thoughtful time daily to think, meditate and redirect your passion & energies.  This “think time” is non-negotiable if you expect to make the most of the rest of your time.  Schedule it, guard it and make the most of it.  Remove the people and technology distractions that permeate your life, if only for a small window of time every day, and give yourself the gift of quietness to think, to pray or to ponder.  You’ll be amazed at how it will transform the use of the rest of your day.
    3. Embrace Change With Courage.  Winston Churchill said, “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

 Every problem you encounter lays down the same challenge… “Will you be victim or victor?”   Nearly every great success story has in it’s foundation stories of struggle and overcoming adversity.  Most of us have been in groups or on teams with a “whiner/complainer/excuse maker”… Make a personal commitment to never, ever be that individual.

  1. Accept Responsibility for Consequences & Kudos.  Finally, whether you choose to admit it, you’re responsible.  Responsible for your actions, for your attitude and for the way you invest the precious moments of your life.  Will you screw it up sometimes?  Sure.  When you do, accept credit for it, be humble, sacrifice to make it right or better, and learn from it as you head on down the road.  Will you surprise even yourself sometimes when you succeed?  I believe you will!  And when you do, the plan is still the same.  With success as with failure, you should accept credit for it, be humble, sacrifice to make it even better, and learn from it as you head on down the road.  

Life is hard today… that much is true for all of us.   What will you do today to make the most of the moments in front of you?

Check out this video from Will Smith, and what he has to say the power of your words and thoughts.


Oklahoma Proud!

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downloadMiranda Lambert & Carrie Underwood rocked the stage at the Billboard Music Awards with their new duet, “Something Bad”…

Even if Miranda is a transplant, we still count her as one of our own!!!

Which of their songs is YOUR favorite?  Vote for your TOP THREE!!!



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Risky LoveLife is an unending series of opportunities, of risks and potential rewards.  None are greater than when we face those kinds of moments with the ones we love. The decision to be vulnerable or build a wall around our heart can affect our destiny; a leap of faith or a moment of passion that can color our world for years to come.  Those YOU love NEED your love.  They need you to believe in them.  They need to hear reckless abandon in your voice and see it played out in your love for them.

Take a chance today.  Show someone special just how crazy in love you are with them.  OK, so you say you shouldn’t have to prove it.  Prove it anyway… beyond a shadow of a doubt, totally convince them that above everything and everyone else on this planet, you are consumed by your love for them.  

Maybe you don’t have a romantic interest to express these feelings to in this moment. Choose a sibling, a parent or a friend then, but choose someone.  Lavish your love on a niece or nephew, uncle or aunt, or grandparents if you’re blessed to still have them.   Blow their mind today with an act of love and commitment.  Take a risk… be extravagant…

Do something, write something, say something that rocks their world… and in the same moment, you’ll rock your own.

Eat the Early Bird…

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Eat the Early BirdWhy settle for instant gratification?  Quick little victories may meet a selfish need for immediate results, but is that really what’s best in the long run?

We’ve all heard it said that patience is a virtue.  Virtue, from the Latin “virtus”, meaning “worth”.  It’s hard to wait.  But the best things in the life, the most important and valuable things in this life… they are worth the wait.

Many businesses or organizations are all about making a quick buck or doing whatever it takes to make a sale, regardless of whether or not it’s fair, legal or appropriate.  Just get the worm, and beat everyone else to it.  Don’t be that guy.  Don’t be that bird.

Clients deserve our best.  They deserve to be treated with respect and honor.  Go for the long win by putting out the extra effort to invest and serve well.  It’s harder, yes.  It takes more time, more effort and even more money.  Do it anyway.

In the mean time… scope out the birds so caught up in their early morning, quick fix grabs for success in business and in life.  Be patient and watch.  When the time is right, you’ll be the one sitting down to an awesome dinner.  For the record, birds are much tastier than worms.



So, How Ya Doin’?

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Past & present



How bad have you had it?

How well are you doing now?

Have you told the truth yet?  





Either way, the only person standing between you and actually

being better, doing better, owning better in the future…

is YOU.  

So be honest.